Emotions

Today I am feeling them.  A lot of them.  It started last night and I can't seem to put my finger on it.

Frustrated, fear, worthlessness, boredom, anxiousness, confusion, thankfulness, love, overwhelmed, fear...

And they just keep cycling.

I'm thankful that during my moodiness, my husband just walks through it with me.  He's frustrated too and just wants to help, but I don't know how to explain it all yet.  (And yes, shark week is approaching, but I think it's deeper than that).

We've had 8 showings.  And no offers.  Granted, it's only been a week and maybe today an offer will come in.  But the same two words keep coming up.  Cute and small.  They says it's cute.  I've done a good job with it and the staging.  But it's too small.  Cute is good.  Small is not.

We still have six weeks before we close on our next house and we can carry two mortgages for a small time, but I don't want to have to.

This is a scary road for me.  Trusting.  Combine that with many hours at home and you have an equation that could result in a positive answer or a negative answer.  I try to fill some time with walking and listening to podcasts.

Yesterday, I knew I was about to mindlessly eat.  Instead, I chose to leave the house, walk to the gym early, and read a book.  I didn't have any food at the gym to eat, so I was able to get fresh air, exercise my body and mind, and win over the mindless eating.  Today, the adventure is going through recipes I've torn out and deciding if I ever will really make them or not.  A walk is scheduled and I'm sure I'll be taking another walk and listening to another podcast.

This post feels like my head...all over the place, but I also hope that by getting it out, it will stop circling in my head like a group of vultures.

I lied...

Well, I lied.  Mostly to myself.

My husband and I found the cutest, biggest dream home.  It's a 4 bedroom, 3 bath, with an amazing kitchen, potential room for a library, a three-seasons room, and a wrap-around porch.

The problem?  We should sell our current home.  Yes, thankfully, right now we are blessed with enough finances to handle two mortgages for a few months, but I'd rather let go of this one and move on to the next one.

Closing on the new house is July 31 (six weeks from now) or when we sell this home.

Tuesday was the day of signing all of the paperwork. Bam!  Signage in the yard happened.

And a few showings happened.  One on Tuesday (probably not).  Four on Wednesday (heard from two of them - one is considering is and one thought it was too small).  We have another showing tonight.

I lied.  Many of my friends have said, "You'll sell it in a week."

So I was holding out for a miracle.  A 24 hour miracle.

Granted, I don't know what the other two showings or tonight will bring, but I was secretly hoping that one person would see it and we'd have an offer.

I wanted a quick fix.  But anything worth getting is not worth a quick fix, right?

Congratulations!!!

Apparently, he's told me several times, but I didn't know that he got his doctorate in pharmacy...which means he was hooded!  I thought he'd have the normal graduation gown, not the Harry Potter one!

So proud of him!  He went back and got his second degree.  I'm proud of him for not giving up, for studying hard, and not letting age determine what he wanted to do for an occupation!  Being a pharmacist suits him well!

What I've Learned...

It's been five months of marriage...and I'm ready to get back into the blogging world.

What I've learned in those short five months...and am still learning!

• I'm not as nice of a person as people think I am.  Nate is so incredibly kind and patient and works with me when I show a side that often, only he sees.
• I'm not looking forward to the summer.  I've been home alone today (he's now working!) and wish he was here with me.  It's nice just knowing he's in the house.
• I have a lot of stuff!  We might be moving...We found the perfect home (to me) and if all goes according to our plan (Did I just jinx it?), we will move about thirty minutes north of my hometown.  This would allow Nate to be within three miles of work and put me about the same distance from school.  This also lets him be closer to his brother and gets me completely out of my comfort zone.  Completely scary!!!
• Communication is key!  He cannot read my mine as much as I think he can.
• I love him!  God crafted him incredibly well to complement me.  He lets me be me and loves me in spite of it.  
• We have very different working styles.  He gets it done.  I take my time (procrastinate).  I am striving to be more like his style (little by little).
• I have to plan dinners...It helps me create menus that will be plan friendly (which he completely supports), but offer a variety.  I was fine before with popcorn and refried bean quesadillas.  I guess that doesn't work every night when you live with someone else.  Variety is the spice of life, right?

Soon, I'll post photos of the wedding day...and maybe even moving pictures!

Trying

Confession.  I am not happy with my body right now.  I like what I see...just not the number on the scale. 

Yes, I'm within my goal range, but on the higher end.  Because I chose to stop tracking and allowed myself a bit more freedom, it ended up chaining me. 

To combat this and reign in my snacking and mindless eating, I am choosing to try the Simply Filling method in Weight Watchers.  This will help restrict my choices for a time being and push me towards more whole grains as opposed to processed carbs.  Plus, I am discovering, I like dessert.  I feel the need to have one after every meal.  I am hoping that this will allow me to listen to my body.  Because that's what's most important.  Giving it the fuel it needs to perform the tasks I give it.

I'm on my third day.  How long I will be here will depend on when I feel that I am back into seeing food the way it needs to be.  Fuel, plain and simple. 

What I Ate

Hello world...it's time to get back. 

Back to seeing friends.
Back to tracking my food.
Back to doing what's right for my body.
Back to reading.
Back to writing.
Back to my blog.

I'm going to try a What I Ate at least once a week...I learned about it from several blogs I read, but have never joined in.

There's always a beginning.  His mercies are new each day...Today I'm claiming them.

In random order...my food from Sunday

Apples with cinnamon and string cheese - afternoon snack on the porch

Dried edamame - snack...I was still hungry.

Dinner - salad with chicken, tomatoes, and covered with a guacamole salsa from Trader Joe's (and chips).

My favorite evening snack...yogurt and PB2...yum!

My favorite breakfast ever...bagel thin with PB2, fruit (strawberries), and protein smoothie pancakes - WW Greek yogurt whipped with egg whites...yum!  Every Sunday and Saturday, I get to eat these because I have more time to cook.

Lunch - Chinese cabbage salad with Asian dressing from the Pioneer Woman and a roll and veggies

There you have it...

My thoughts

I was given the Dessange products free to try, but my opinions are strictly mine!

I was given shampoo, conditioner, and replenishing oil. Here is the description from the site for their shampoo.

DESSANGE Paris introduces Oleo Miracle Collection, a hair care line infused with nutrients from nature's most precious oils. Bolstering delicious notes of orange, gardenia petals and sandalwoor, the reparative collection works to help transofmr hair suffering from thermal, chemical, and environmental damage for a  visibly softer, healthier look. Offering intense nourishment, the formulas are infused with three kay natural oils: Argan Oil, Camelia Oil, and Pracaxi Oil, leaving hair smooth, bounce and manageable. 

The Oleo Miracle Replenishing Shampoo is DESSANGE's first shampoo infused with micro-drops of precious oilds, the lightweight formula offers supreme nourishment to hair without weighing it down.

I love the smell of the products and the oil was really nice with helping defrizz my hair before I flat iron it.

However, I don't use conditioner every day and only one drop of oil was enough for my hair.  I felt that after using the products many days in a row began to weigh down my hair and cause it to feel greasier.  Not sure if that was my imagination or not.

I probably wouldn't use these products in the future every day, but the replenishing oil is something I would look into.  Especially for the lovely winter dry hair.