Sunday, November 28, 2010

Frustrating

While many probably enjoyed the days off due to Thanksgiving, I cannot say they were fully enjoyed. Parts were. It's horrible for me to say this, but I think I have finally figured out why the trip to visit with my sister wasn't as great as I wanted it to be.

My mom and I don't communicate well. And by well, I mean hardly at all. I frustrate her and while I would love to hash it out and dig into it, she doesn't want to. Or can't. I'm not sure which it is. It saddened me on my drive back. Most of the car ride was probably spent in silence. We had a few conversations, but they never go deep. And if I try to talk something out, I perceive her tone to be very short with me.

My mom is amazing, please don't get me wrong. We just don't speak each other's love languages well. She has bought so much for my classroom and gives generously to my sister, others, and myself.

I just wish we could talk. I wish she would sound like she listens to me. I wish I could pour out my heart to her and she would hear it.

I know she loves me and is proud of me. I just wish I knew her better. I wish I knew how to talk to and with her without her becoming defensive.

Friday, November 26, 2010

Twitter

So, I'm on Twitter with my students, but I am now also on Twitter as @becomingcathy.

I am going to use this account more for professional development than anything else...so if you are on there too for PD, look me up!

Beautiful day

Wednesday was a gorgeous day! Not outside, but in. I don't think I could even describe it in words. It just felt right.

That morning, we had traveled to a nearby school and met our new friends from Twitter. We were hoping to Skype with a class in Ireland, but that didn't work out. However, we wrote letters to them, enjoyed community circle and morning message, and read a favorite book together (Beware of the Frog).

After we left, our class had to eat lunch in our classroom due to a different lunch time. I read a book that reminded me of Edward Tulane and them of the dish and the spoon from the nursery rhymes in our fluency folder. Then began a time of buddy reading. I had two boys model how they had taken buddy reading to the next level by asking questions and checking on in tricky words as they took turns reading. As we discussed what we noticed about their buddy reading, one of my girls took our Chinese ELL, sat side by side, and read a beginning book with her. It was beautiful! Learning was happening all over. Students then began to read together and I was blown away. I wasn't even needed! They had work to do and people to do it with. I checked in with a few readers and then gathered them together for a sharing circle.

Two readers shared about when you can't agree, someone has to compromise. Another group shared that you need to keep your brain focused in the books as you read. One of the girls was trying to share that idea and couldn't remember what she wanted to say. Her partner tapped herself on the head to remind her of their lesson. I chuckled. Another group shared to cross your fingers if you want to connect to someone's thought and don't want to interrupt them.

The previous day our shares had included to use the phones wisely (so they can listen to themselves read). As she was going on and on trying to share her point, one of the students told her that she could have just said, "Don't play with the phones," and it would have been faster. And while he's right, what I am more impressed with is that he took her comment and summarized it!

We also learned the phrase "fed up" and while it doesn't mean stuffed with food, we were able to link it to agitated and thus learned what synonyms are.

Great days of learning...great days are to come!

Tuesday, November 23, 2010

Where am I?

I don't know. I have ideas in my head, but they don't seem to get written down. I've felt in a fog lately in the classroom. We had testing to do and now that it's over, I feel that I can jump back into what really matters - listening and talking with students.

I feel like today was more normal. We had conferences, shared our learning, and talked as a community.

I've written down a few things and definitely some funny lines from students.

I'll be back soon to share! Thanks for sticking with me! And super thanks to Google Reader...love how it helps me with my blogs that I read.

Saturday, November 13, 2010

I'm me...and that's okay!!

Lately, I've been struggling with comparing myself to others. Tonight, after sharing with some dear friends, I have come to a realization.

While I may not be the most amazing person there is, I am able to talk freely with strangers and make conversation and be friendly. I am passionate about what I do and become even more passionate when talking about it with others. I care for others and strive to show and tell them.

I do not need to compare myself to others. I need to look at the example of Jesus alone and continue to mold and shape myself based on His example and His alone.

I'm not 100% there yet, but I'm getting closer!

Quiet

A few of my friends have done a Daniel fast. I wanted to do it...to purposefully give up something in order to seek and hear God better. However, with my track record of food and disordered eating, I chose to give up something else that often takes away from my life and distract rather than give - TV.

Tonight is the last night of the fast and I'm glad I did it. Life seems quieter these days. I'm able to get more accomplished for school, in my house, munch less, and feel more at ease. I read books, prayed more, and listened to music.

Do I feel like I heard God clearly through this? No...that's the bummer. I was talking with a friend today about it and I feel that He is somewhat silent. Which is okay.

While I'm not giving up TV entirely, it was nice to give it up for a few weeks. I know that I can get through a weekend without having to tape something just to have something to watch. I can shut it off and eat dinner at my table. I can have quiet in my house. I can focus on conversation around me rather than be distracted by background noise.

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Remembering

Tonight I visited a dear friend in the hospital who has a blood clot. As we were talking, the marriage seminar came up that she had gone to with her husband. And the tears began. I don't really know what's brought on this flood of emotion lately. Other than maybe just desiring something that God still isn't bringing forth. And while she is laying in the bed with pain, she is trying to bring me comfort. Love that lady!!!

Our church has also been focusing on family Sunday mornings. Last week was about marriage. This week parenting. Next week, the big S talk. Come on!

Fast forward to tonight. I pulled out my prayer journal that I write it when it fits into life. Which is not often. I wrote this two years ago...by the way, I always love the writing Cathy better than the speaking Cathy. The words that I write seem to be so profound when I read them later.

From my journal - "Women ache for intimate connection." our God is a rescuing God. "God always shows up, always saves, always rescues. His timing is not ours, but what we can settle in our soul is that God is faithful to come when I call." The quoted words come from Do You Think I'm Beautiful?

I truly needed to read these words tonight. Thank you, Father. I am not deserving of such a beautiful love and you continue to lavish it on me.

Saturday, November 6, 2010

Stepping out

I am stepping out into the technological world with my class. I set up a class blog on kidblog (since it's private, you'd have to ask for a user name and password). I also am trying the world of tweeting and twitter. Are there any people who read my blog that either use Twitter with their class or know of other teachers that do? Thanks Mrs. J for the comment!

It's sweet to watch the class blog during the day or talk to each other about what they write. Their writing has taken on a new urgency. Someone reads what they write. It's great!

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

Oh my

I send home assignment sheets and each time the students bring them back, they earn a stamp. Ten stamps equals something from the treasure chest...ooooooohhhhh.

One of my sweet cherubs asked if I had upgraded the chart yet. I smiled and told him, "No, I have not updated it yet."

Thank you technology.

Also, today, we were creating the ore and orn family in my guided reading group. One of the kids had written an inappropriate word and I casually glanced over it and said that wasn't a word. (It started with a p.) Not wanting to teach that, I noticed another girl had written it down. Again...not a word. She said, "Yeah, like poured a drink." Ohhhhh...yeah, let's talk about endings of sounds. I quickly showed them the difference between pour and poured. Whew!

Then, I gathered a group to talk about why they had missed writing the date on their math paper. We were trying to come up with (okay, they were) what year we could write for 07. Nothing...and because of what I said, here comes the conversation.

"7"
"0h 7"
"J 7"

Get it? He was thinking the letter o and came up with another letter. Clever, but wrong! I smiled and wrote it down before I forgot!