Small victory

I made cookies today for our fruit pizzas at school. And ended up with half a scoop of dough leftover. Not enough for a cookie. Too much to eat. 

Okay, who's kidding...love eating raw dough and there's never too much to eat. 

So, I scooped it up. And thought. Was this really going to help my body? Help the baby inside me? Help me after I give birth? 

No. I threw it out and scraped the bowl. Now there was just a little. And had to go through the thought process again. I threw it out again. 

Small victory. But a victory nonetheless!!!

You don't know me...

Yesterday's doctor visit was not so fun.  I had made a conscious decision to NOT look at the scale anymore.  I'm at the point where gaining a pound a week is normal.  I have 15 weeks to go...adding another 15 pounds will put me at about 35 pounds gained during this pregnancy.

I didn't look at the number and it was killing me.  I had asked my husband to not look either and he did glance at it.

During our visit with the doctor, the good news that came out was the baby boy is most likely not going to be a ten pounder!  Yay for me!  However, he's inside and not out yet.

I was bringing up some foot pain I am having, which I am assuming it's because of my extra weight right now on my body.  I then lost it.  The doctor (who I had seen for the first time) said if I am really having a hard time with the weight gain, that he can set me up with a diabetic counselor to create a diabetic diet.  And then I really lost it.

This doctor doesn't know me.  He doesn't know the 60 pounds I had lost through Weight Watchers.  He doesn't know that I'm a Weight Watcher leader.  He doesn't know the food I eat or the choices I make (granted, not all of them have been healthy and yes, I have overate).  He told me to eat fruit, vegetables, protein, and watch the carbs.  Don't do the pasta every night...maybe just once a week.

Well, doctor, I'll have you know that the pasta I do eat is whole grain.  I eat whole grains most of the time and have a weakness for cereal.

Nate was wonderful afterwards and wanted me to know how much weight I had gained in the five weeks since my last appointment.  Two pounds...which is less than the pound a week gain that's normal right now.

I am more determined now to continue to put healthy foods into my body when I am hungry and to fill my purse with amazing snacks so I always have a good choice.  And to remind myself that I do know what to do...I just have to continue with the willpower to do the right thing.

Bump Update

I know this will sound bad, but hear me out.  I was overweight most of my life due to poor eating habits and not knowing the value of exercise.  I lost weight through Weight Watchers and now, as I watch the scale inching upwards again, it's hard.  It's hard to wrap my brain around the reason why I am gaining weight and it's a good thing, I know.  But it's hard.  It's become a prayer to embrace my new body and to know that after the baby comes, there will be work to move back towards what is healthy for me.

So, my bump update.

Well, at the beginning of the day, it's quite small and by the time the day has progressed, so has my belly.  I'm taking these bump updates from Courtney at Sweet Tooth, Sweet Life.

Right now, I am at 17 weeks and the baby is the size of a turnip. Next will be a sweet potato.

Weight gained: At least 15 pounds, but am reigning it in.  I was up last week and down this past Saturday.  It's about listening to my body and filling it with healthy foods when I am hungry.  I also made my couch a no-eating zone, which is A HUGE victory for me!

Workouts: The first trimester was awful!  I was so tired and couldn't get off the couch.  I was at the gym Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Saturday.  I did low-impact Zumba in my basement Friday.  So happy with moving again!

Symptoms: The indigestion is still happening, but not as much.  That's about it now!  There was no throwing up in first trimester!

Food Aversions:  Not really...brussels sprouts though.  And I love brussels sprouts.

Food Cravings: Carbs!!!  I'm trying to drink tons of water, so I bought some water enhancers to make it go down faster!

Sleep: I wake up at least once to go to the bathroom...I've heard it gets worse.

Maternity clothes?:  Completely!  I've bought a few maternity leggings for my tunics and a few friends have loaned me their maternity clothes.  So thankful!

Stretch marks? Maybe...but I had them from before, so who cares if there are more?

Miss Anything?  All of my venti, full-fledged filled caffeinated coffees. Having to heat up lunch meat instead of just eating it.  Tasting cookie dough (even though I barely did that before).

Fun & Weird Stuff From the Week: Maybe I've felt the baby move, but it might be gas too, so not sure.  

Baby Items Purchased: None. Not until I know if it's a boy or girl.

Looking Forward To: We have a reveal party coming March 12...and then there's a child's clothing consignment market (it's huge) the following Saturday. Feeling the baby move and knowing it's the baby.

Questions for the Moms:

• What supplies are a must?
• How many outfits should be bought for each size?  My husband and I disagree on this one?
• Cloth or disposable diapers?

Feelings

I took this photo as a just in case...to celebrate the beginning of life in case something didn't go as I had planned.

Thoughts that were running through my head at this point...

• Oh my goodness, it has to come out...
• Will I miscarry?
• How will I handle the gaining of weight?
• What will it be?
• Will I throw up? (thankfully never have)
• Will the baby be okay?
• What kind of mother will I be?
• Can I handle this?

I'm back...

I'm back.  It's been way too long and I've had a lot of posts in my head that want to be written, but I've just not done it.  I've spent a bit of time on the couch sleeping or just trying to not throw up.

For those who don't know...

More updates to come, but I might be off for a quick snooze...actually, the tiredness is much better now.

Thrilling Thursday

Things that made me smile this week...

• a weight loss
• seeing my arms in the mirror
• watching my husband work (he has such a quiet spirit)
• knowing I surprised my dad today!!!
• Fall Break
• having students share that they are disappointed in what they can do now and want to do more
• having students listen to what I say and then share when other connections are made

What about you?

Tell it Tuesday

A loss of .6!  I wasn't sure if there would be any.  I didn't track as closely and was on shark week.  

I plan on listening to my body as much as I can this week and will check in later.