Flowing out of their mouths

Let's call her hummingbird. She flits and flies around the room so quickly, I often wonder how she gets from one side of the room to my hip in less than a nanosecond. Today, during our sharing time from reading workshop, Hummingbird was sharing her tricky word, jalapeno, courtesy of Skippyjon Jones. As she's talking about the word, she starts with, "Reading English isn't easy for me." Oh darling...I think she meant Spanish, but we'll see if English works too.

My complainer today was sharing about a student I had previously. He told me they are March enemies.

You just can't make this stuff up! There are days where I am so envious of my friends in their offices and cubicles, but when my kids give me so much laughter, I am thankful once again!

What would you do?

I currently have a student who is a level 1 ELL...she has less than 50 spoken words in English people. That's definitely level 1 if not level 1/2.

However, throughout the day I notice she is spending more and more time away from what the class is doing. When I am reading a book, she is off hanging out in the library. She refuses to go to music class and sometimes other specials. She always goes to art. During math, she likes to do her paper at my table (I got rid of my desk, but that's another post). She refuses to come when I ask and motion her to. I eventually can get her to go for a bit, but she'll wind up away from the class again.

Is this normal? Am I okay to not push right now? I let her play on my computer some websites that either have Chinese or teaching letters and sounds in English. Any advice?

Smile

I have a student who doesn't quite get things socially. I adore him, don't get me wrong. However, sometimes when he is repeating the same phrase over and over and over again, it can get a little old.

He had been pondering out loud when he would get to be the student of the day. (The first twenty or so days - depending on number of students - is how many I need.) Today, happened to be his lucky day.

I had had him carry a basket of books and maybe pass out a paper or two and pass out lunch cards. As he approached me, he began shaking his head and said, "Man, being student of the day ain't easy."

Oh, nelly...

God's timing

If you are new to my blog, I currently have a student who speaks Mandarin. I do not. However, God has truly been providing throughout all of it!

Tonight I was able to attend a community dinner for those who might just need a free meal or have no place to go. A friend of mine has a passion for the southeastern part of Asia since having been there for several months on a mission team. I knew of the Chinese Church that meets in our town and wanted to see if he wanted to go with me as well. As we were talking, he told me about how his co-worker had just told him about the church. I had heard of it from another person.

***

I decided to go through with the idea of working out afterwards and pulled into the Y parking lot. I did not feel like going in...I just wanted to go home and relax. Begrudgingly, I walked into the lobby and there was a lady sitting in the corner. Not quite why I stopped, but I gave her a second glance and trying to not be as offensive as I knew what was going to come out of my mouth, I asked, "I don't want to offend you, but do you speak any other languages."

My lucky day...because she came back with many languages and Mandarin happened to be one of them. I asked if she could help me translate what my little girl had written that day (and it matched what the guy at the restaurant said - yes...I check my sources). As she and I began talking, it turns out that she attends the church that my friend knew about. I also found out that she happens to work at the same place where my friend is. Yep, you got it! She is his co-worker. She gave me her card and I am so thankful because now I have another source to help translate and explain for my little girl.

What are the chances that I would meet my friend's co-worker less than 20 minutes after talking about her with him?

Thank you, Father, that You truly are a Provider!!!

Precious

I am trying to instill a sense of respect for reading in our classroom. The students aren't allowed to lay down on any of the pillows yet. Not until they become...responsible readers. I keep saying it over and over.

Today, I asked the students to read a bee book after they finished their word sort. One of my boys, let's call him Honest One, told me he forgot what a responsible reader was.

It's funny because I haven't really told them the explanation of responsible...I just use the word. But the meaning will come!

I watched him walk around the back of the room. He walked up to another student and asked her, "Do you know what a responsible reader is?"

I was laughing too hard to hear her response.

I think I'll have a lot of fun with this class!

Funnies

I tend to lose my voice often the first few weeks of school and during the fall (thanks sinuses). Friday was no exception. I was greeting some of the students as they walked into the classroom and one of my girls simply said, "You have a problem." Duly noted!

The students wrote down what they learned about bees on Friday afternoon. Our class is decorated with bees due to choosing a bee themed fabric on a whim seven years ago. However, I find that being bee themed is helpful. There are worker bees. They are a community. They live in a hive (we created an area in our room called the Hive). And, last but certainly not least, there's a queen bee that is in charge. Hello me! I even have a queen bee shirt from a student a few years ago. One of the girls wrote down..."I dit no that thrs 1 mom be." Translated into proper English - I didn't know that there's one mom bee (the queen bee). I definitely had a great laugh tonight!

Warm fuzzies

It always gives me warm fuzzies inside when you know that some of your students wanted to be in your class. I had one boy (I'm friends with his mom) call and exclaim, "I got you!" over the phone to me. Apparently, I wear him out. He told his mom that after the first day I didn't let him stay in his seat very long. I guess I am doing my job well then. I hate to have the kids stay in one area for too long.

I received a note after the first day letting me know about another student who had a doctor appointment. His mom included that he had told her he had had the best first day ever.

I ask parents to fill out a paper that lets me know any goals, dreams, or information about their child I should know that will help me to be a better teacher for them. I always love reading what they have to say about their kids. Tonight I saw that one of my girls was excited to have me. She had been hoping to be in my class.

Sometimes I doubt the quality of my teaching. I tend to sell myself short. I was blessed to have had our writing coach in (who recently published a book) and she asked to tape some of my writing focus lessons. I am honored that she thinks my teaching is of enough quality to show to others.

This week was definitely filled with warm fuzzies!

The first day...

I was finally ready. I had my two cups of coffee (one for the morning and one for the afternoon) which equalled about four mugs of coffee (had to be ready). I had my first day outfit (a new skirt I had found at a local store similar to Plato's Closet - 10 bucks - amazing deal). I had my morning message written. Bring on the kids!

I have a student who speaks no English. I was excited to hear I would get to teach English...I have an understanding with God that I am learning Spanish. He heeded my prayer and my student speaks Chinese! (Thankfully, I also have another student in the room who speaks Spanish and will talk with me!)

This new student has a younger sibling in my friend's class. I had cards made and had picked up a few new words. Who knew the Chinese language is based on tones? Four tones and one word equals four different words. I have no clue what I am doing.

As my students walked in and I greeted them, one girl handed me a notebook. I noticed she had no backpack with her. I had had her brother last year. He came at the end of the school year with a month to go. Apparently, this was her first day and her last. She supposedly is going to be going to another school tomorrow. Why did her parents enroll her for a day? I don't know (insert many ideas I am not going to write).

We had our fire, lockdown, and tornado drills today. Try explaining that in Chinese. My student had to think we were weird. She didn't eat lunch...pizza and corn...who wouldn't eat that? Probably too American...I felt horrible. I took her to the room and tried to get her to eat some of my food. Nope. We took her out to recess and then when the younger kids had come in, her sibling hadn't. Off I went to look for her with my Chinese dictionaries. We found her...playing with her sister at recess. I guess I'll have to explain somehow that the younger sibling has to go in earlier than her sister.

Back in my room, I grabbed my cottage cheese and pears (yum) and started to eat. Oh...my class walked in. They got to watch me eat for just a bit and then I shared First Day Jitters with them. I sent them back to their desks for our math meeting and noticed that my first day/last day girl wasn't joining us in our Hokey Pokey (learning left and right). I knew that last year when she had come, she had had trouble at first choosing to do what the teacher asked. I was not going to allow her to do this and calmly told her she had two choices: look at me or I was going to call the office. I gave her time. Then I told her to look at me and she again refused. I counted to five and told her I was going to call the office. I counted...she didn't budge. I followed through and called. They sent someone down and she refused them. Two administrators later, they finally got through to her.

However, I chose to take my class out because I wanted to also protect her dignity and honor. We went on a tour of the school and then I got the bright idea to go practice our names with the tennis balls (throw and say their name - you've got to see the kids throw...not a lot of hand-eye coordination). As we are throwing the balls, I see a boy turn around and lose his lunch. I moved the other kids away and stay with him as he's getting sick.

It was then during their second recess that I realize after looking in my lunch box, I hadn't eaten my lentil salad with chicken...oh well.

Fast forward to the end of the day...I see a little girl standing in the grassy area between the busses and the cars for parent pick-up. I know she doesn't speak a lot of English...I GET TO USE MY SPANISH...oh be still my heart! I asked her (in Spanish), "Where are you going?" And I understood her!!! Her uncle was coming to get her. Through a few more conversations and a few parents nearby who also helped with my questions (they spoke Spanish), we found her uncle.

In other's eyes, today might have been a bad day. However, I prayed over my kids, the room, and their desks. I pray that I get to be a beacon of light for them. I pray that they learn a little more about God's love and forgiveness through me.

When the class gets excited because our little girl said someone's name, a smile shows up. When a child (who struggles academically) tells you at the end of the day that you're the best, there's something inside you that burns just a bit brighter. When past students hug you on the way out to the bus, you know that God has placed you where you are to be His skin.

I'm excited for what this year holds...

They're back!!!!

I am truly looking forward to filling my blogging book with funnies from my students. It was the first day, and I am not sure of names to call these kids yet...They'll come though.

I was asking the kids to wait patiently while we were waiting for other students to write what they knew about bees. While we were waiting, and waiting, and waiting, and waiting, I asked the students to sit there and look pretty if they were finished. (Apparently, this class doesn't have much background knowledge about bees.)

One of my boys piped in with, "Why not manly?"

As I smiled, "Sure, you can look manly too."

I then walked and grabbed my book. Should be a good year.

Misadventures of Babysitting

Before reading...ask yourself, what could these tools be used for? Got an idea??? Okay, finish reading then!

I was given the opportunity of a lifetime...an entire evening with my baby girl! I jumped at the opportunity and then quickly realized, I wouldn't be able to sleep in Friday morning (hey, summer is winding down and I love my sleep in days).

After having the baby with me at my house to get items needed for the evening as well as meeting with another gentleman looking at my windows to give me a quote, I took the baby to the grocery store, picked up my items and headed to their house. She had fallen asleep in the car seat, so I just set her down in her room and made dinner while she cat napped.

The evening passed uneventfully. Dinner time, bath time, and play time. I finally gave her her evening bottle and off to bed she went. I shut the door and headed out to chill until it was my time to fall asleep. I had heard about the meteor shower, so I headed out to watch for some. I did see a few, but the thought of sleep was overpowering the urge to watch meteors, so I headed in and settled down on the couch around 10:30.

Two hours later, I heard her crying in the night. I headed to her room to put her pacifier back into her mouth and discovered the problem. I couldn't open the door. It was locked. I quickly woke up and tried not to panic. I had jiggled the handle just to make sure and then went looking for something to poke the lock out...thankfully I am familiar with the pop in and out locks. I found a toothpick and attempted it. Nothing...apparently those aren't strong enough.

With my stomach feeling like I was about to throw up, I called her mom and again, trying to not panic, explained the situation as calmly as possible. She told me that there was a key above the trim on the doors. I slid my hand along every door...nothing.

With my stomach becoming a roller coaster, she was going to call the neighbors and I was going to head to the garage to look for tools. My baby girl was crying even louder at this point. She heard the door trying to be opened, but no one was coming for her. I don't think I can even put into words how horrible I felt listening to her cry and knowing I couldn't get in there yet.

I raced back into the garage and found a long plastic thin tool and headed back to the door. Still nothing. Back into the garage I went and grabbed three different tools, hoping that just one of them might work.

I pushed one of the tools into the lock and heard the pop...I pushed the door wide open and went to hold the baby. As soon as she was calm, I called the mom again.

I waited a while before I laid her back down to sleep, put on her mobile, made sure the door was unlocked and headed back out to the couch. It definitely took a while for me to fall asleep again...and when she did awake at 6:30 for the day, it made for a very long day.

I'm glad it all worked out and I am inferring that the doorknob had become locked when we had been in the room earlier that night packing her bag. She had held onto the door as she was standing and if the door pushes all the way back into her closet doors, the lock will engage.

Lesson learned...always check the doorknob before closing it.

Why is it growing?

It's now been nine days since I have e-mailed my dad an apology letter meant for my step-mom. I know he received it...he just hadn't shown it to her as of last Saturday. However, I'm assuming by now he has (I haven't talked to him). I know that I can't do anything else to change the situation or change it. I know that I can't do anything more than what I've done already, but keep praying. However, I'm frustrated. This isn't right. Is what I did so bad that after apologizing, I still don't deserve to be talked to?

Growing up, I never had a great relationship with my dad. He married my first step-mom when I was in fifth grade. I liked her at first and then true colors came out. There were good times with her and there were others that I truly care to forget (and thank you God, tonight's one of the first times I'm recalling some of them - mostly just mean comments about my weight and my dad's weight). I didn't like how towards the end of their marriage how she treated my dad. I never really noticed that my dad drank a lot during this time of his life.

After they separated, he stopped drinking. And he hasn't had any since. I tell him every year how proud I am of him. He once told me he drank to numb the pain of being married to her. For this very reason (and past extended family abuse of alcohol), I try to not drink a lot. Especially when I'm upset.

My dad began to date my current step-mom. He became a different man. She has two daughters who about my sister's age. In fact, my sister was friends with the oldest and now they are sisters! My dad began to be involved in their lives. He helped the girls move into and out of college. He only visited me once during my freshman year. He began calling me to ask how life was. Before, I would have to be the one to call and then he'd complain that the phone didn't ring enough...it goes both ways!

I feel like I'm back to the old dad. I haven't heard from him all week and granted, I could call too. I don't want to call and have her be around and get upset and then make life harder for my dad. But then again, I hate that I am letting this ruin my relationship with my dad.

I guess I'm just stuck. I feel the anger becoming greater and greater daily in me. My dad is stuck in the middle and I'm trying to not let him be. I guess that's why I'm not calling. I feel bad that my sister is stuck listening to me vent about it daily. I am grateful for the bag that is now hanging in my basement...I've already had two kickboxing sessions.

Readers, thanks for listening...

Misadventures of Babysitting

The people I babysit for have been buying some organic baby food made by another lady I know. I think it's a great idea! The food comes in pre-portioned frozen ice cube shaped food elements: peas, carrots, squash, sweet potatoes, peaches, apples, etc. To make life easier, the mom placed several cubes into plastic ziplock bags and we just scoop out what's needed for baby's lunch.

*** (time has passed mark)

I got out an orange and a yellow bag. I know the carrots (orange) are often thick and I've added squash (yellow) before. I decided to mix them again. After I had squeezed out quite a bit of the squash, I noticed the smell was strangely sweet. Hmmm...something doesn't seem right. I dipped my finger into the squash and tasted it. Yup, you might have guessed...peaches. I had already put both food items into the bowl and had swirled it a few times before I figured out my mistake. Wondering what would happen, I ended up feeding the entire bowl of carrots/peaches to the baby. She ate it...I guess that's a good thing. I've also learned my lesson to smell and possibly taste the food before I mix it.

Back to the states

Well, for the most part, I've finished blogging about Honduras. But my experience lives on. Going to Honduras has definitely changed the inside of me and the outside will continue to change and grow as time goes on. I'm sure that as I write and blog, Honduras will still affect (is this the right one?) my writing. I pray it does. I pray I always look through these new eyes.

However, something is on my heart and I just have to share it.

After coming back from Honduras for a few days, I went and visited my dad and his wife in VA. I'll accept all of the blame for what I did. While I was there though, they didn't ask about my trip. Didn't ask to see photos. Anything they heard about Honduras is because I brought it up.

She left Saturday morning to go see her daughter and the grandkids. Honestly, I was hurt because I didn't get invited to see them at all this trip. I was leaving the next day and stopping off in Ohio to see a dear friend and her kids (who I hadn't seen in two years - the kids that is). I knew they would be waiting up to see me.

I finally got around to telling my dad that I needed to go around 11. I knew I had between nine and ten hours to drive. And I hate the driving. Yes, I had books and music to listen to, but it gets old for me. At this point, I was frustrated with myself for not having flown there. My stepmom wasn't back yet and was on her way, but it was a two hour drive. I finally decided to go and my dad said he understood.

I tried calling my stepmom and kept getting voicemail over the next few days. After not having heard from her in a week, I tried again. There were many excuses as to why she couldn't answer the phone when I called my dad's line.

I called my sister. She hadn't heard anything on her end, but it just didn't feel right in my heart. Finally, someone became an adult and my sister called my dad to ask him what was going on. Yeah, my stepmom is hurt. After finding out, I e-mailed my dad to have him give her the letter where I apologized for hurting her.

Since then...nothing.

I got an apology this morning from the boy that I babysit. He had a bad attitude yesterday and the first thing he did this morning was apologize...I graciously accepted it and moved on. Overall, this boy is great and why would I let that change my perception of him. I love it when kids can be adults about some things.

It sucks that I apologized and it counted for nothing. It sucks that I feel like I shouldn't call my dad right now. It sucks that it came to this. However, I did the right thing after finding out I hurt someone. I can't do anything else about it.

Wanted to get that off my back.

Random Thoughts

Random thoughts and experiences from Honduras...

• It's important to understand words...especially in another language. I am not fluent, very far from it. However, I'm excited to learn more. I had learned aunt, uncle, mother, father, grandfather, grandmother, sister, brother. That's enough for family, right? Wrong! I had been talking (as best as I could) with a girl holding a young one. She was eleven and the child was three. I had tried to find out whose baby it was. She said, "primo." I misunderstood and thought primo meant first...It means cousin. I was shocked that an eleven year old had a three year old child and then learned later that evening that she had said cousin. Whoops!
• It's important to give the benefit of the doubt. I had used my Spanish to figure out calculator and was asking to borrow it for the team members to calculate money and tips for our translators and helpers. He was showing me the difference in asking for a feminine object versus a masculine object. The team borrowed it and took it into the side room. I, with slow speech and hand gestures, told him that the group had it in the other room and they will bring it back soon. One of the girls from our team behind me in the lobby told me he had lived in Texas...yup, the hotel clerk totally understood English. I removed my foot from my mouth and enjoyed a good laugh!
• Going through security in Honduras was a bit of a chore. I walked through the metal detector and it went off. I had forgotten to take off my name badge around my neck. Walked through it again...it went off again. I got taken aside, patted down, and swiped with the wand. It turns out when you pin up your hair with massive amounts of bobby pins, the metal detector goes off.
• When leaving Honduras, my stomach was still quite upset. I asked for a ginger ale on the plane and ended up not drinking it. Fast forward to going through customs in Miami...fine. Going through security in Miami...not so fine. My backpack didn't come back to me. They took it off the line and put it on the floor. I wasn't quite sure what was going on. The security guard took my bag over to a side counter. I reached over to clip my water bottle onto the bag and he, in a very firm voice, told me not to touch my bag. Oh, okay...I wasn't even sure what had happened...random checking? Turns out I had left the can of ginger ale in there. He took it out, threw it away, and even wiped my bag with a cloth to see if I had any sort of chemical in there. I was shocked, amazed, stressed, and a little excited that I got to see part of the security in action. I'll do better at next security checkpoints in the future.

Rest, relaxation, and crackers

Sorry that it's been a while since I posted. I still have a few entries of Honduras to write about and then talk about some of the lessons that I feel I came away with.

Friday, I woke up sick. The traveler's bug had definitely hit me. On the last full day in Honduras, we always go to the beach (a nice resort) and rest, relax, and reflect on the week. While in your heart you want to go do another distribution, the emotional toll truly does ask for a day of rest. I didn't feel the greatest and ended up eating crackers or granola bars for two days.

The beach was beautiful and we ended up having our driver's son with us (I had requested that he skip school). I ended up for a while with him on the beach drawing in the sand with sticks and creating math problems for him to solve and then having him teach me new Spanish words. His penmanship was gorgeous!

There was also a pier that everyone often jumps off of. A suicide leap of sorts. I walked out on the pier (think old rail road tracks) and sat. The rolling of the water, the wimp that I am when it comes to swimming (I still plug my nose when I go under), and my queasy stomach made for great excuses as to why I didn't jump. Maybe next year...but we'll see. I also need to continue to learn the lesson that just because everyone else is doing it, doesn't mean I need to.

Friday night we went to a church that is in an airport hanger in San Pedro Sula. To say it was large is an understatement. However, to worship the same God with them as they spoke in another language was great! Tough, but great! I wish I knew what they had been singing and what the pastor was preaching. One action that was definitely different is that every now and again, a horn would go off. I guess someone really wanted to say an Amen and they did so with a car horn (or air horn - not sure which...but it definitely caught me off guard).

Please know that as I was sitting there, knowing we were flying home the next day, thoughts continued to plague my mind. I read Crazy Love last year by Francis Chan and one comment about safety continues to stand out in my mind. He wrote about how we always pray for safety, but shouldn't we pray that God's glory be revealed? If something were to happen, could God's glory be revealed more that way than by having a safe trip? In my mind, there was no greater way for God's glory to be revealed than for us to do our work there and then have Him take us home (heaven) on our way to our earthly homes. That is what was going on in my mind as I wrote this...

I thank you in advance for the gift of life. Let me say thank you every that you give it to me.

I'll come back to that thought in another post...

A Sidenote and God's perfect timing...

I think it's only fitting that as I write this, it's raining...

If you follow my blog, you'll know that I was terrified of flying to Honduras. However, I was tired of my fear being larger than my faith. So, go big or go home!

I was definitely scared as we drove up (and down) the mountain (yesterday's post). I had no control and I don't think I had enough trust in the drivers. However, as a lesson I learned when it comes to flying, I'm sure the driver wanted to make it back down safely so he could also get home.

That evening I was speaking with one of the leaders that helps and works in Honduras. He, through a translator, told me that he used to be terrified of flying as well. However, he flies a lot for his work. He said we are like eagles. When there's bad weather, eagles have two choices: fly through or give up. Granted, he told it in a much more beautiful fashion!!!

Fast forward to the next night. I had a dear friend from back home write me encouraging cards for each day (she knew how much this trip meant to me). I was behind and so on Friday, I opened Thursday's card. On the front was an eagle...on the inside were verses from Isaiah 40.

²⁹ He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

³⁰ Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

³¹ but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.

What's even more perfect is that she wrote these cards back in May with the dates that I was to open each card on them. She couldn't have known the perfect timing that God's words needed for me. She couldn't have known the story Johnny was to share. He couldn't have known that she had written to me about soaring on the wings of eagles. But God did. Once again, I am blown away by the perfect timing of my Savior. He so beautifully is ministering to my soul. For that, I am thankful today!

Go Tell it on the Mountain

Literally. We went up the mountain. Up is the key word. We rode in these trucks Honduran style...the back of the pick up truck. For those of you who think you may have a problem with road rage, go to Honduras and drive. Wow...I was shocked at how many times people passed us on curves or with oncoming traffic while we were in the bus. Our driver, Juan Ramon, was the most amazing driver I've ever seen! I'm very thankful for his gifts and abilities.

Back to the mountain. Guys were hired and off we went. As we drove up, you could hear the brakes squeak...I made a mental note to NOT choose this truck as we went back down. However, I did ride down in the same truck...partially because the guys going in the truck were ones I trusted for the most part and knew I would be safe with them. I yelled, "No me gusta, senor," the whole way down. Thankfully, the yellow truck used his brakes. The first truck that went down apparently didn't...they loved it! I, however, do not like roller coasters, and my stomach was a little tense as we drove down.

I gave infant and toddler clothes at this distribution. It broke my heart as young boys (ages 2-4) came through and I had nothing to give them. I have made it a point now to find and collect boys clothing to give for next summer.

After the distribution, we visited a house. Blanca welcomed us into her home and with her husband has at least four to six children (couldn't understand how many stayed there and how many she had). We did have a translator with us. The pastor had chosen a few families for us to bring a housewarming gift and they were able to show us a little bit of their life. At least four children in the house and only three twin beds in the house. Her kitchen was next door. Their house was maybe 15 by 15 or even 10 by 10 with a dirt floor. They used the same water for drinking, washing, and bathing. I did see an outhouse too. The kids go to school from 8-12 when the teacher makes it up the mountain...if it rains the teacher can't make it up (so instead of praying for snow, I asked if they prayed for rain).

I feel like after seeing their home that I waste a lot of time doing nothing. Parts of me do not want to go back home. I love the translators and our group.

As tiring as the distributions are, I love seeing the joy they get. I hate the desperation that you feel as we pack up. I hate that we can't give to all. I hate that they themselves can't pick...that we decide and had it over. These are the issues that I am still wrestling with.

However, I can do something about it. I can act locally with the poor and broken in my area. I can love those that are around me. I can spend myself towards the students and faculty in my school. I can spend myself loving them and giving of my time to them. I can save my money and buy clothes to take to Honduras next year. I can give my time to those around me who need a listening ear. I can needs to turn into action.