Wednesday, August 11, 2010

Back to the states

Well, for the most part, I've finished blogging about Honduras. But my experience lives on. Going to Honduras has definitely changed the inside of me and the outside will continue to change and grow as time goes on. I'm sure that as I write and blog, Honduras will still affect (is this the right one?) my writing. I pray it does. I pray I always look through these new eyes.

However, something is on my heart and I just have to share it.

After coming back from Honduras for a few days, I went and visited my dad and his wife in VA. I'll accept all of the blame for what I did. While I was there though, they didn't ask about my trip. Didn't ask to see photos. Anything they heard about Honduras is because I brought it up.

She left Saturday morning to go see her daughter and the grandkids. Honestly, I was hurt because I didn't get invited to see them at all this trip. I was leaving the next day and stopping off in Ohio to see a dear friend and her kids (who I hadn't seen in two years - the kids that is). I knew they would be waiting up to see me.

I finally got around to telling my dad that I needed to go around 11. I knew I had between nine and ten hours to drive. And I hate the driving. Yes, I had books and music to listen to, but it gets old for me. At this point, I was frustrated with myself for not having flown there. My stepmom wasn't back yet and was on her way, but it was a two hour drive. I finally decided to go and my dad said he understood.

I tried calling my stepmom and kept getting voicemail over the next few days. After not having heard from her in a week, I tried again. There were many excuses as to why she couldn't answer the phone when I called my dad's line.

I called my sister. She hadn't heard anything on her end, but it just didn't feel right in my heart. Finally, someone became an adult and my sister called my dad to ask him what was going on. Yeah, my stepmom is hurt. After finding out, I e-mailed my dad to have him give her the letter where I apologized for hurting her.

Since then...nothing.

I got an apology this morning from the boy that I babysit. He had a bad attitude yesterday and the first thing he did this morning was apologize...I graciously accepted it and moved on. Overall, this boy is great and why would I let that change my perception of him. I love it when kids can be adults about some things.

It sucks that I apologized and it counted for nothing. It sucks that I feel like I shouldn't call my dad right now. It sucks that it came to this. However, I did the right thing after finding out I hurt someone. I can't do anything else about it.

Wanted to get that off my back.

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