Choosing Joy

I am currently reading one thousand gifts by Ann Voskamp.  I read a little at a time.  Her writing style is definitely different than what I am used to reading, but every now and again, sentences jump out and grab my heart.

I wanted to share a few lines as a way to cement them more fully into my head and heart.

I knew it was going to be a good and challenging book when I read "...I believe the Serpent's hissing lie...God isn't good.  That God withholds good from His children, that God does not genuinely, fully, love us." pg. 14.

My friend, Laura, is always reminding me that our God is a good God and He's our Father and He gives good gifts to His children.

When I read the previous lines, they struck a cord, because I, like Ann, sometimes believe the lie.  That God is holding out on me.  Which is not true.

Another line she writes is "If He truly, deeply loves me, why does He withhold that which I believe will fully nourish me?"  pg. 15

She goes on with "Our fall was, has always been, and always will be, that we aren't satisfied in God in what He gives.  We hunger for something more, something other." pg. 15

Oh, how my heart and head knew these words.  It was as if she was looking into my own life.

The book is about joy.  Finding joy.  Choosing joy.  Last year, my word was joy.  What a beautiful book then to read.

As I'm diving more into the book, she asked a question (and where I had to stop and ponder).

She read a word - thanks - and found the original language - eucharisteo.  The root of this word charis means grace.  Chara - the derivative - means joy.  And here's her question, "Is the height of my chara joy dependent on the depths of my eucharisteo thanks?  As long as thanks is possible, then joy is always possible." pg 33.

Joy is always possible.  Do I thank Him enough for what I have?  For who He is?  For what He's done for me?

And that's where I am today...thanking Him for what I do have, instead of what I think will nourish me.  Thankful for grace, forgiveness, and redemption.

Confession of a Carb Queen

I have to make a confession.  I love carbs.  Love.

And while I make pretty good choices with my fruits and vegetables...it goes the same for carbs.  Too much of a good thing is not always good.

I did what I had to do...and I know there are starving children out there and people who cannot afford food, but I had to throw away the cookies I had bought because I am not using self-control.

Cookies and quick carbs are a trigger food for me.  I know it.  I am going to do something about it.

I also listened to a podcast last night about sabotage words - try, but, wish.

Since I know that they (those lovely Trader Joe chocolate chip cookies) are a trigger food and I am not showing self-control and I know I need to do something about it...instead of saying, I wish I didn't eat them.  Well, now I can't.

And since I know eating in front of the TV is not helpful for me and my journey, I am committing (not trying, but committing) to NOT eating my meals with the TV on.  For a while, I was doing well with that and then I slowly, little by little, began again and wouldn't you know, the old behaviors come back with it.

No more.  At least not this week.  TV off for meals and snacks.

A New Me

A new me

Who

Straps on her bike to the car

Hikes a mountain

Runs a trail

Walks to add activity to the day

Finds new recipes

Healthifies every recipe

Packs snacks for the purse

Praises her body more than condemns it

Admires herself 

Proud of her accomplishments

I like the new me. 

Waiting no more...

So, I know my readers have wondered...what was I waiting for?

Well, get your Kleenexes ready.  Or maybe your boxing gloves.

I was waiting for a phone call.  From a guy.  And it never came.

Ugh!

I had helped a co-worker with her wedding and met her cousin.  Single.  My age.  Believer.  Funny.  He asked for my contact information at the end of the wedding night (we had been in a group setting for the past two days as well).

I was stoked.

If you knew my dating history, or lack thereof, you'd have been stoked too.

I thought...maybe...maybe...maybe...this is the story that God has written for me.

But no.

He never called.  Or texted.  Why?  I don't know.

And yes, I manipulated a little and found him on Facebook, but didn't add him as a friend.  Just sent a quick message thanking him for a book recommendation.  He wrote back a few days later.  I wrote back...and nothing again.

Well, I am no longer waiting.

I don't understand...and maybe one day I will.

Not going to lie, it's been a little rough, but God has been so gracious and I've had some great quiet times and of course, some yelling matches.

I am so blessed.  And I was reminded by a dear friend that when I look to Him, He is more than enough and when I take my eyes off and begin to compare, that's when I fall into a bad trap.

So, are you now crying or are you ready to go beat someone up?  ;)

All in a Day's Work

So, what does a single gal do when she has the whole day for herself?  Well, since most of her friends work during the day or are out of the country or just busy in general...you find things to do.

• Start the day with a two mile run...yes, I said run!
• Listen to podcasts about what followers of Jesus wear (clothe yourself...)
• Pick 8 pounds of blueberries.
• Run to Wal-Mart.
• Paint canvases with magnetic paint.
• Read part of a book.
• Paint canvases with yellow paint.
• Wash the dishes.
• Boil and cut and freeze corn on the cob.
• Watch a training video.
• Catch up on some old tv shows from the previous week.
• Mow the lawn.
• Blog.

Anyone jealous?

Answers

God is good.  God answers prayers.  It may not always be exactly what I want or when I want, but I am receiving answers in the midst.

I'm waiting...but I'm praying.  I'm asking for hope (sometimes it's hard to allow it in to my heart).  I'm asking for peace.  I'm asking for patience in the waiting.

And God came through.  Am I surprised?  Sometimes I am.

He answers with music and perfect lyrics.
He answers with His truth...so many people have shared verses that God has spoken to me to memorize.
He answers with blogs.

Thanks to a dear friend, I discovered the (in)courage blog.  One of the posts was about waiting.

And while it was an answer to prayer, I found one comment upsetting.

It reeked of bitterness.  And while the reader is entitled to their thoughts, my heart broke for the hurt she has been through.

It reminded me that I have two options...I can trust or I can become bitter through the process.  I choose the former.  I trust.  Knowing whether the answer is a yes, no, or wait will come, but for now, I can trust.  Because bitterness is not a road I want to go down.

Crazy Love

Have you read that book?  It's by Frances Chan and if you haven't, stop reading my blog and go out and read it!  It's fantastic and I'm reminded of a part of the book after I looked at my friend's pictures...I promise there's a connection.

In the book, it talks about how God made a movie and we go to the movie and are so excited that we are an extra in His movie that He made about Him.  We drag all of our friends there because we're in His movie and point out the teeny tiny blip that we're in the movie...when really it was all about Him.  Not us...

My friend got married over the weekend and I got to help run the wedding day.  So much fun!  The photographer got a photo of me...and I know, it wasn't my special day, but I had to include the photo here...I love it.

I love that I looked at it and didn't criticize myself.  I just enjoyed the picture!  Plus, I love my arms... :)

The Waiting Game...

I'm waiting...for what...not that important.  Just waiting.  I find myself thinking about it and trying to hurry it up, but I have no control over it.  None.  Zero.  Zip.

Waiting is good...Waiting is tiresome....Waiting is frustrating at times.

However, during this waiting time, I'm able to draw near to His feet, talk to Him about it, and rest in His answer...as I wait.

WWI

Well, it worked for me this week.  I am down three pounds.

I am aiming for at least 20 activity points again...leftover...not eaten...banked.  You get the picture.

I love Weight Watchers and what it did for me.  I am on my way to becoming a leader...I'm in training now and will go for my major leader training in Chicago in September.  Until then, I have videos to watch...

However, as I sign off tonight, I am headed up to bed.  Even though I took a nap today, I am exhausted!  I babysat this morning and rode my bike to Zumba, rode my bike to my WW meeting, walked about two miles with a fellow member, and then biked home.  My activity monitor is definitely over 100% and I'm ready for a great night of sleep!

Becoming accountable

Sorry readers. Actually, I take that back. 

I will not apologize for sharing me with you. You get to join me on my journey. It's your choice whether you read or not. 

Currently, I go to a Weight Watchers meeting on Mondays. Each week our leader asks us to write down on our weekly one change we will do for the week. 

I normally share with June. She's lost 90 pounds. She's extremely focused and is almost at goal. 

She wasn't there tonight, so I am going to share with you. And I am on the journey to becoming a leader, I will eventually probably have another meeting to go to...so, I will try to be accountable to the Internet. 

I will call it WWI.  This week I want 20 extra activity points that I don't eat.