Friday, April 30, 2010

Fit not Fat

Over the past few days, my brain is working out some truth and lies. I watch The Hills (one of my reality shows I watch) and I listened to Heidi as she asked her mom if she looked good after undergoing ten or more plastic surgeries at once. It made my heart break! Even after "becoming Barbie" physically, she still has to look to others to see if physical appearance is good enough.

Tonight I was at the Y and while I popped into the women's locker room, I almost (almost) walked over to weigh myself. I chose not to. While I was trying to read through the magazine as I was huffing and puffing through another cardio session (I had run earlier with a co-worker at the school track). One of the girls that I know made the comment about how she wanted a bikini body like the ladies on the cover. I told her I just want to be fit.

The more I think about it, the bigger my desire is not to be skinny, but to be fit, to see the muscle definition, to know I can run, to be active, to fit in the clothes that I currently have, to feel powerful. I'm not a number from a scale. I'm not a number from my pants. I'm not the letter that's on my shirt. I'm Cathy. And I'm becoming comfortable in the skin that I have...

The choices that I make in my life physically and with food need to reflect the desire to be fit, not thin.


Anonymous said...

Thank you for this. I am struggling with feeling comfortable in my own skin right now. I feel like I should weigh 115like I did at 15 besides 155 like I do now at 30. I don't want to be that skinny, but I would like to be tone and fit. I just don't know where to start. I've never liked working out. Which I blame on being naturally skinny as a child. Maybe you could blog sometime about your exact workout.

Mother of 3 needing help.

Live, Laugh, Love! said...

That's awesome girl. Totally awesome! I know a lot of people reading that book. :)