Frustrating

While many probably enjoyed the days off due to Thanksgiving, I cannot say they were fully enjoyed. Parts were. It's horrible for me to say this, but I think I have finally figured out why the trip to visit with my sister wasn't as great as I wanted it to be.

My mom and I don't communicate well. And by well, I mean hardly at all. I frustrate her and while I would love to hash it out and dig into it, she doesn't want to. Or can't. I'm not sure which it is. It saddened me on my drive back. Most of the car ride was probably spent in silence. We had a few conversations, but they never go deep. And if I try to talk something out, I perceive her tone to be very short with me.

My mom is amazing, please don't get me wrong. We just don't speak each other's love languages well. She has bought so much for my classroom and gives generously to my sister, others, and myself.

I just wish we could talk. I wish she would sound like she listens to me. I wish I could pour out my heart to her and she would hear it.

I know she loves me and is proud of me. I just wish I knew her better. I wish I knew how to talk to and with her without her becoming defensive.