Tonight I realized that our past does truly impact our present. I never really knew why I didn't like standing shoulder to shoulder with people at church until tonight. I adored both people on each side of me. It was me. When we began singing, I just kept wondering, "What are they thinking of my singing voice? Am I on-key?" Where does this anticipation come?
Journey with me to middle school. I was in choir (cause it was cooler than band) and we were doing a 50s medley for a concert and I loved the songs! So much in fact, that I recorded myself singing them at my dad's...because there wasn't much else to do there on the weekend.
Fast forward to college - we were playing old mixed tapes that we had made and I stuck in one of my tapes...yep, you guessed it. It was playing and ended up turning into me singing (I honestly didn't remember that was on there - I thought I had recorded over it.) Well, my roommates (although they didn't mean to) had a great laugh to my dismay. I was mortified.
And now we are to present day. I think some part of me still is nervous that the person next to me will be laughing as I am belting out in pure adoration of my Creator. There are just some songs you have to belt...you can't hold it in. I just don't want to be known as the person people don't want to sit by at church because of the way they sing.