As I walked into the auditorium today at church, I was handed a program. I walked up to the front and set down my journal, bible study book, and purse. Carrying my coffee with me, I headed out to the bathroom to get a few tissues (stupid runny nose). As I headed into the auditorium again, I let the greeters know that I already had a program. The lady on the left stopped me and complimented me on my weight removal. What she said wasn't important. What was important was knowing that behind closed doors, I haven't honored God with my food choices. What people see on the outside isn't important...what's going on inside my heart and head is. I thanked her, looked at her name tag, implanted her name into my brain (Deb), and chatted with her for a bit. She, too, has had a journey of weight removal and it was nice to talk with someone else who understands the battle.
And to tangent a bit, I know that some of who you read my blog might understand the battle in a different way (battling food, obsession, and body image), but there's something comforting about someone who has removed weight and knows the thinking that goes on when you look in a mirror and still seeing the old body and afraid that you'll wake up the next day with it back. Yes, I know that is physically impossible...
My slice of life today is about realizing that I still battle and need to be honest with myself, with God, and with a few trusted friends (and of course the blogging world...ha ha). Today is a new day...and in the words of an amazing worship song...Forever, I am changed. It's time for me to start living that.
1 comment:
I loved the thoughts on your post today--it's such a difficult topic to broach and I thought you had a strong and steady hand at the tiller.
When I had my physical this year I was chatting with my doctor about image and body weight. I had decided not to be weighed that day (freeing myself from some judgement issues) and she commented on how we evaluate ourselves according to what we see on the television--none of who are probably a good selection of normal weight people. it was the first time I'd had an easy discussion with her about this, and it was freeing.
And that's what I liked about your post--it feels free, that even though you acknowledge your challenges you seem comfortable in your own skin.
Nice thoughts for a Sunday afternoon--
Elizabeth
http://peninkpaper.blogspot.com/
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