Alive

This is the photo that sparked a real return to being healthy. I joined weight watchers and thru great motivation made my goal weight. I'm on the far left. This was two years ago next month. 

Lately, I've been slacking. So to help, my friend is letting me text her every day and I am committed to tracking my food. I'm measuring and going back to the basics. 

And seeing how far I have come, doesn't hurt either.   I follow a lot of fitness bloggers and bloggers who cook. They take selfies...so I did too. Because I am proud of what I see. 

Summer bucket list

It's good to have goals. It's also good to go with the flow. 

I've got a few goals this summer...

- plan a wedding

- sleep in

- update my computer so I can update my iPhone 

- read, read, and read 

- pick blueberries

- get 100% every week for my activity in WW

- get myself together (I am entering counseling again for some anxiety)

- working on the 40 day challenge of decluttering

- live and enjoy each slow or fast day...whatever it may be

Do you have any?

Music

Music has been pouring out of my car, phone, and computer for the past two days.  I am clinging to God's truth about who I am. 

He is good.  His love is good.  He is graceful.  When I can't stand, I can fall on Him. 

And while I can't change anything, I can move forward.  I can cling to His truth and proclaim that He is what makes me righteous before Him.

Thank you, Father.  I don't feel it.  But I'll take it.  And I'm thankful for a day that's coming...

Grace

I messed up. And more than once. 

There could be consequences and even if there are not, the mental agony that I've gone thru is horrendous. 

I never want to go thru this again. 

What I've learned is this...grace is overwhelming. And completely undeserved. I am finding it hard to forgive myself and move on. 

But with every day that I move forward is a day where I can thank God for His love, forgiveness, and His grace. 

There is freedom in surrender. And that is what I choose to do. Regardless. 

I'm alive...

Really, I am. 

And I still have lots to say. But, at the end of the day or the beginning of the morning or throughout it, I just choose not to tell my readers anything. 

Sorry. 

Biggest thing...I have engagement photos tomorrow and then I am wrapping up the school year. After that, I can focus on what I need to do for the wedding. 

And even though, it was less than 200 words...just typing this has been good. 

Celebrate

I celebrate that one of my students wrote the most amazing poem. He needed a good day. 

I celebrate that I tracked what I ate. I've been slipping into some old habits and haven't been diligent. Diligence is important in all areas. 

I celebrate that there's a white dress hanging in my closet. Eight months and seven days from now I will wear it. 

I celebrate that I have vacation!!! It's well needed. My books, magazines, and iPad are ready to be read. 

I celebrate the warmth of sun. Even if it isn't Florida, the warmth this morning after working out felt amazing. 

Confessions of a ww leader

I mess up. 

I've been a Weight Watchers leader since October. My life has changed dramatically since then.  I went from a very scheduled life to weekends that are not as structured. 

I've been less diligent with my tracking. I put food into my mouth and mentally track it. I've slacked off with my working out. 

Um, the scale shows it. I'm still in my goal range, but I know I am letting old habits creep back in. Eating when I'm stressed.  Eating in front of the tv. Eating without paying attention to portions. 

Nat has been wonderful and lets me cook almost whatever. No avocado, mushrooms, tomatoes, or shrimp.  But that doesn't give me a reason to let it all go. 

So, today begins tracking what I eat. All of it. Any of it. I'm choosing to pay attention and track. Because it works. And I want to be proud of what I am doing for myself.