Tuesday, October 30, 2012

The Hardest Part...

I recently took a small trip to visit my dad and family.

What was the hardest part?

Was it hanging out with my step-mom knowing we had had a rough time the last time I was out?

Was it staying in a hotel room by myself in a strange city and different state?

Was it saying good-bye to my niece and nephews who I don't see very often?

Was it saying good-bye to my dad as I drove ahead of the hurricane?

Was it driving through the mountains?  The dark, rainy, foggy, fast driving roads of the mountains?

It was seeing the two walls in my dad and step-mom's house where the infamous-stick-out-our-hands wedding pictures of the ladies in the family (except me) were hung.  It was seeing the three out of four happy daughters with their husbands on another wall.  It was driving in a car for 7 hours thinking about it.  And wanting it.  And not having it.  And being sick and tired of where I am.

Sorry, reader, tonight's blog post doesn't have a happy ending.  So, you can either stop reading now and make up your own happy ending or continue on with my unhappy ending.

I recently saw on someone's Facebook status to celebrate the season you are in.

Sorry, God, but I am done with my season.  I tried to be joyous in it.  I was for a while.  Now, I'm not seeing much joy lately and I'd like to give the season back to you now.


Ruth Ayres said...

He can shoulder it, you know? Here's a big hug through the computer until I see you tomorrow. Then I'm going to run up and give you a big hug. Just because you were brave enough to write this. And I think you're awesome.

Carol said...

Can so relate. When I get to heaven, I'm going to have lots and lots of questions…Hang in there!

Dana said...

I love what Ruth said about being brave enough to write this. I applaud you. I have had those feelings in my life at one point or another and I think it is very brave to write it out. Wishing you a tiger or pooh day ahead. ;)

Elisa said...

Family relationships can be so difficult. I'm going through a similar situation right now. I don't know how it's going to end up but maybe it's time it got resolved in some way. Hang in there! The storm is always necessary if we're going to embrace the joy that will come after.