I wanted to leave. My brain was telling me that they would finish up without me just fine. Yet, looking at the others who were there, I knew I couldn't leave. What did I have at home? Dinner could wait. Cleaning could wait. The movie could wait. I chose to stay through it and I'm glad I did.
A lady at church told me that Satan is going to begin to attack me for going on this trip. My fear is holding me back from flying and serving overseas. The only mission trips I go on have to be within driving distance.
Background knowledge - a few years ago I went through a physical transformation and removed weight from my body (naturally) and underwent counseling to make my outer and inner being healthy at the same time.
I called my counselor again today. I even cried as I was setting up my appointment. It's ridiculous. I hate being gripped by this fear. I hate crying over it. I hate giving Satan a foothold.
I am taking one small step forward...
BTW, if you are interested in helping me fill my second suitcase with giveaway items, please let me know. Some of you (who I know personally) will be receiving letters asking for prayer and if you want to fill my suitcase, but my financial support has already been taken care of (wooh hoo, go Dave Ramsey!)