Tuesday, May 18, 2010

One step at a time...

Saturday was supposed to be a meeting, lunch, and then work together to fill the trucks with the things we are taking to Honduras in July. (Sidenote...I'm baring my soul today.) I cried during the meeting, I cried during lunch, and stressed myself out during the sorting of clothes. Most of the people were leaving (from my town), but another group of people were staying to help finish it up. The clothes were never-ending!!! We sorted, folded, and sorted into boxes to help us better give when we visit the villages. I was stressing out because I had a summer roommate moving in on Monday, tons of school work to do, grading, planning, my sister had come into town unexpectedly and I was having dinner and a movie with a friend Saturday night (plus clean my house on top of it all).

I wanted to leave. My brain was telling me that they would finish up without me just fine. Yet, looking at the others who were there, I knew I couldn't leave. What did I have at home? Dinner could wait. Cleaning could wait. The movie could wait. I chose to stay through it and I'm glad I did.

A lady at church told me that Satan is going to begin to attack me for going on this trip. My fear is holding me back from flying and serving overseas. The only mission trips I go on have to be within driving distance.

Background knowledge - a few years ago I went through a physical transformation and removed weight from my body (naturally) and underwent counseling to make my outer and inner being healthy at the same time.

I called my counselor again today. I even cried as I was setting up my appointment. It's ridiculous. I hate being gripped by this fear. I hate crying over it. I hate giving Satan a foothold.

I am taking one small step forward...

BTW, if you are interested in helping me fill my second suitcase with giveaway items, please let me know. Some of you (who I know personally) will be receiving letters asking for prayer and if you want to fill my suitcase, but my financial support has already been taken care of (wooh hoo, go Dave Ramsey!)

1 comment:

Jen said...

Glad I got to be part of your Saturday, friend. :) And I hope for many more.