Honesty is what you're getting here.
This weekend was unplanned and ended up becoming filled with friends. This morning at church, I felt like I was going from group to group, looking for my niche. I saw some small group girls that were visiting home while on their break. (Yes, I cried when seeing them.) After catching up with one of them and then having a McCafe with a friend, new thoughts have come forth that need a little "fleshing out" if you will.
In high school, I just wanted to be part of the popular crowd. In college, for some strange reason, I became friends with a popular crew. Out of college, when I became a small group leader, I had a group of students that were well-known and could be called the "popular" crowd. They are now in college and I am left once again, looking for the popular crowd. At church we were placed in groups for our study and I don't know many of the girls personally. In fact, when looking at other groups, I want to be in those groups because in my mind, they are the "popular" group.
I shared this today with my friend (and now sharing with the world) and realize that I still am finding some of my identity in how others see me.
While we were at Mickey D's, there was an older lady (50s or 60s) that came and sat down by herself, with no ring on her finger, and ate by herself. She ended up spilling part of her coffee and I went up and got her napkins so she didn't have to. Why? I guess, deep down inside, I didn't want her to have to do everything by herself. I wonder what her story is. I have no idea what her life is like outside of the restaurant. Does she have people around her that care for her? Help her? Support her?
These two big themes keep coming back in my mind...being seen as someone who has worth and not wanting to be viewed as alone. Where do I go from here? Right back to the Truth. Claim what I know is true and choose to believe. Find myself in the Truth. It's a journey, not a destination...thanks for joining me for part of it.