Saturday, April 5, 2008

The Single Life...

I drove to visit my sister today before we board a train to visit another sister. I had several hours to sit in the car, listen to my iPod, sing out loud, and just think. I currently am not dating anyone (unless you count the treadmill) and really have no prospects. Lately, I have been crushing on one person, but I don't feel that this will lead anywhere for several reasons: 1) I don't think he's a believer, 2) I don't think he likes me (he just jokes with me when we work out - I met him through the gym, and 3) guys don't ever seem to think of me as more than just a friend.

As I was talking with another friend of mine, she said that maybe my expectations are too high. I have never really wanted to drop my expectations. I don't see them as being too high. All I'm asking for is (the basic requirements): 1) a believer (with hopes that he will be a spiritual leader or at least be willing to grow), 2) someone I enjoy being with and can be myself with, 3) someone who adores me and likes me for who I am and not who I could be, and 4) a guy who enjoys doing some of the same things that I do.

Is that asking too much? I know that who I am now is a better person. I am physically healthier, emotionally healthier, and hopefully stronger spiritually. I am glad that I wasn't in a relationship a few years ago. I am not the same person. But some days, it's just really hard when you see your family and friends in loving relationships.

I know that God's plan is ultimately the best and I need to cling to that...but I just long to know...will it ever happen for me? Is God calling me to be single or will I ever be married?

This song today, as I listened to it, is what I want to be the cry from my heart...it's from Hillsong United and it's called, "From the Inside Out."

Your will above all else
My purpose remains
The art of losing myself
In bringing You praise
Everlasting
Your light will shine when all else fades
Never ending
Your glory goes beyond all fame

In my heart and my soul
Lord I give You control
Consume me from the inside out
Lord let justice and praise
Become my embrace
To love you from the inside out

9 comments:

Live, Laugh, Love! said...

Cathy! That song was one of the worship songs at church this morning! :) :) Amazing!

Have an incredible and well deserved spring break. I will be in Warsaw on Thursday and Friday if you want to come over!

GirlGriot said...

Hi, Cathy --
I'm single right now, too, and this post sounds as if it was written directly from my heart and mind. Sometimes it's harder than others to be single. Sometimes it's exactly what I want.
--Stacie

Christi Overman said...

Hey Cathy--tag! Check my blog for rules.

Christi Overman said...

Also...as someone who has been married now for awhile, take it from me...DON'T lower your standards. You're not buying a house...you're making a rest-of-your-life decision.

ruth (twt) said...

hey cathy --
again, i'm so touched by your genuine-ness. (i'm not sure that's a word, but i'm making it one because it's the only way to describe you.) cling to the lord & hold tight to your standards. he blesses us in the most amazing (and often unexpected) ways. he has a perfect plan for you. i'll pray for you.
hugs, ruth

twowritingteachers said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ruth said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ruth said...

whoops -- maybe you can delete the triple-posted comment! geez, am i computer-literate or what?

Ms. Mize said...

If we truly wanted to be married we could. I am sure. But it is much better to wait for God's man for us. Never give up! The Bible says that God gives us the desires of our hearts. I didn't see our names anywhere in the fine print. I am so thankful He is no respecter of persons. And yes it is difficult to see others that are in seemingly different places than us. But our places are all different. If we are looking to God and trusting him we are where we should be. Of course, this is much easier said then done. We just have to keep doing what we know to do and hold fast to God's promises. I know this helped me. Thank you for being transparent! It helps me to see that others out there feel like I do at times.